I have seen a lot over the last year. One thing that has not changed is that people are still having babies. When we first went on lockdown, as we probably all remember, everything changed. Doulas were no longer allowed in hospitals or birth centers, I mean honestly speaking no one was really allowed anywhere. We as a culture also grew to understand, respect, and honor those that were referred to as essential workers. All the people that kept us safe, that risked their lives, and still reported to their workplace, despite the dangers that at that point were unknown and that seemed to be lurking in plain sight. I do want to take a moment to thank ALL the essential workers, the doctors, nurses, grocery store employees, the SHIPT and other delivery services, and all essential workers that allowed me to live comfortably and stay home. I realize that this may not be one of my most popular posts, however, there is something that I tell all my clients. I will ALWAYS tell you the truth and I will ALWAYS be honest, so this post will be no different. I also came to recognize my privilege during all of this. I was able to stay home, and take care of my family, although I was not able to support birth in the way that I was used to do, we absolutely stayed home. My son has an autoimmune issue, so we have been more careful and continue to do so in light of our current climate. The way in which we all did our job I imagine became different. I was made to support virtually, and my eyes were opened to a world where I was still able to positively impact the people that I serve in a valuable way, just different from what perhaps was imagined. I was lucky in the way that I had already been attending births virtually as I have served families that live across the country so I knew what was going to work and what wasn’t. Things were just different, and still remain different.
Let’s discuss some of things that I am still seeing. Continuity of care is different. LET’S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT. I am not a doctor. I would never tell a client what they should do or should not do. I will however provide evidence based information in order for them to make the best decision for their family. Some of my clients have delivered their second or third babies with their same provider and what they experienced this time during the duration of their pregnancy has been very different than what they experienced the first time around. We were and in most cases seeing families that are only allowed to go to their ultrasound and other appointments without their partner, and in the beginning of the pandemic some of the appointments that we have come to expect were skipped altogether. I absolutely understand the providers need to limit their exposure and the exposure to others in the clinic, however that does no negate the feelings that most have in regards to having to attend these appointments alone. We are still seeing providers recommend inductions and at times starting at 37 weeks. The reason for this in the beginning of the pandemic was due to available hospital beds. As a country we are blessed that we are in a stage of this pandemic where that is not the case at the present, yet I am still seeing some providers mention this to my clients for no other medical reason other than the pandemic. I am also seeing a manipulation tactic at some local hospitals where they are being overly nice, yet pushing clients into a lot of interventions upon their arrival when they have planned for a intervention free birth. Again, not for any medical reasons. I had one client tell me recently that their provider would automatically begin pitocin when they arrived “to speed up their labor.” Labor is not a race. It does not need to move at a clip.
At the onset of the pandemic babies were being separated from their parents for fear of spread. Thankfully ACOG, WHO, AAP, as well as local health departments have decided that this is not in the best interest of the baby or family. We are seeing birthing people be tested for COVID, and upon a negative result, they are being “allowed” their doula and partner present, no separation of baby etc. This is all great news, however we have also suffered some setbacks that could take years for us to be able to reclaim. Postpartum appointments were also being scheduled virtually or pushed back several weeks. People need their postpartum care and it should not be skipped period. It would take me pages to describe all the differences in care that we see, however there are still amazing providers that are honoring what a family wants, and their standards of care have been unwavering.
People’s experiences that are not related to care have also changed, and in most cases for the better. While none of us would wish to live through a pandemic, I do think that the level of which we evaluate what is individually important has changed. I can’t tell you how many times that I have heard people be grateful that things have changed. They don’t have to make up excuses as to why they don’t want a parade of people through their home days after they bring their baby home. People are working from home perhaps limiting stress and exposure to other things that could complicate a pregnancy. That being said, it can blur the line between work and home making it difficult to manage on line schooling, work, home and the balance that has been asked all of us to prioritize in our lives.
What can we do about some of this? Use your voice. Let me repeat that…..USE YOUR VOICE. Hire a doula, even if it is not me. Ask questions. Learn to advocate for yourself. Ask questions and don’t apologize for it. There are resources available for whatever you need and it is more important than ever to ask for help. Reach out. I think you would be surprised at the support that is available if you ask for it. Decide as a family unit what is important to YOU. You have the ability and the right to set boundaries, and boundaries that aren’t based on what everyone around you thinks is how it needs to be, but on how you want it to be. Honor the post partum period. Hug you baby, and extend grace to yourself because you are strong enough and you and your family are worth it!