Fear. Depending on whom you speak with, fear has many different roles in birth. There are even people talking about removing fear from your birth, and I want to talk about it. There are several different elements to this type of thinking. One that should be noted is that if this is your first baby, almost everything regarding this experience is new to you. Frankly, I think that it is human nature to feel fear. You are walking into a new experience, the unknown and unfamiliar to YOU. I want you to read that last sentence again. This is new. It is natural to have fear surrounding this experience and what it will involve. Now, overwhelming, debilitating fear, looks different, and we will talk about this aspect shortly.
Let’s talk about what happens biologically during the birth process. “In response to fear, our bodies release adrenaline and cortisol, and these hormones play a fundamental role in the physiology of birth. Endorphins released in response to pain also contribute to the altered state of consciousness associated with physiological labor. Often there is an altered state of consciousness associated with labor. When the limbic system dominates the neocortex, expected behaviors and cultural norms are disregarded.” (Reed) What does this mean? We don’t control fear in the ways that some people think. It is impossible to let go of all fear. Due to the unpredictability of birth, whatever approach you take, there will be some fear. How can we then lessen the amount of fear in the birth space? I think there are a few different approaches that can help with the process. I think that telling people to remove all fears that are associated with birth is not fair, and certainly not helpful.
We have to take a look at what types of fear exist. One word comes to mind. Change. Things are going to change. Your family dynamic is going to change. There will be one more little person that needs care and is dependent on you. How can you lessen the fear associated with this? Planning, preparing, and education is a great place to start. Flexibility can play a very dominant role in the future. Trust me, I know how hard this can be. I thought with my first child that I would be able to control everything. Scheduled feedings, bedtimes, and diaper changes were the first things that I put in place. The schedule was more about control than it was watching my baby for feeding cues. It didn’t work, and we had to adapt quickly. I am not going to tell you what processes to put in place for your family, however, I will provide tools and resources so that you feel prepared. One important thing to remember is that what works for one family may not work for another. The trick is to find what works for YOUR family.
There is a common theme that dictates fear. Pain. The medical industrial complex will have you believe that pain should be removed. It’s simple, get an epidural. They will liken this to getting a tooth pulled, On the other hand, natural birth advocates think that pain should be part of the experience. They think that we have been conditioned to think that birth is painful, and if we do certain things, we can eliminate it completely. Here’s the thing. I will always tell you the truth. ALWAYS. I think in order to get to the bottom of these theories, we need to discuss pain in simple terms. A person’s perception of pain always comes into play. Everyone’s experience will look different.
Fear serves a purpose. In looking at the human experience, it is what signals our fight or flight. It can be what keeps us safe. There is something called the neo-matrix theory of pain. “This theory purports that pain is produced in response to an actual or perceived threat by a matrix of neural structures in the brain. Inputs into the central processing areas of the brain are multidimensional and include nonbiological contributions to the experience of pain. Therefore, a number of factors influence labor pain perception, including beliefs, expectations and past experiences, emotional state, acceptance of the experience and social context.” (Whitburn) It is also important to note that “research has also found that acceptance of pain during birth enhances the woman’s capacity to cope with it, and that having a pain-free birth does not improve women’s overall experience.” (Whitburn)
The uncertainty and unpredictability are what contribute to fear by a culture that aims to control everything and eliminate all unpredictability. (Reed) I think that we can control what we can, and be prepared for the things that we can’t. There can be surprises, and things that are just frankly out of anyone’s control, but there are things that can help with the process. Get a doula. It will be the best money that you spend. Someone that supports you and your partner and that will provide unbiased support. Someone that does not push their agenda of what they think your birth should look like. Take a childbirth education class. I have found that if we know what to expect, we are able to process the experience a little easier. Learn about physiological birth. Last but not least, everyone wants to share their birth experience with pregnant people. Kindly ask them to hold their story until after you have your baby. There is no reason to bring all of their experience into yours.
There are ways to manage pain in labor and delivery. How we move our bodies, how we use our breath, and the support we fill our birth space with all has an impact on the fear and pain that we can experience in labor. Be mindful of who you have supporting you, and educate yourself on physiological birth and the biomechanics of the pelvis. The more we know and can level set our experience, the better you feel going into this journey.
XOXO-Holly
Reed, R. (2021). Reclaiming Childbirth as a Rite of Passage: Weaving ancient wisdom with modern knowledge. Word Witch.
LY Whitburn, LE Jones, M-A Davey, and S McDonald, ‘The nature of labor pain: an updated review of the literature”, Women in Birth, 2019, 32 (1):28-38, doi10.1016/j wombi.2018.03004.