Setting Post-Partum Expectations

We need to prepare for post-partum as much as we prepare for birth. We need our support system to show up. We need to be having hard conversations with each other, and friends and family. We need to be planning for what we are going to need, and I am here to tell you, it is a lot more than just picking out the crib and stroller. I always tell my clients…..I will always tell you the truth, and here is the truth. Where do I see a great opportunity? Not just in bringing home your first baby, but baby number two. There is more to think of, and more to be ready for. Let’s talk about how we can be ready, and I’m gonna keep it real. I don’t want people to go into the romanticized idea of coming home. I want you to be prepared for the reality of coming home, and it can be hard. Have conversations about sleep, meals, and how your people can help you. How can you alternate making sure that you each are getting some sleep? Nothing causes more issues with your ability to regulate the nervous system and heal than lack of sleep, not to mention the ability to think clearly. Sleep is so important!

There is a lot to think about, but if we are prepared, we will be able to enjoy this time and feel supported. You need to be able to heal, love on your baby, and sometimes assimilate another child to this new world, and planning will make it better. One of the first things that I recommend is having a conversation with your partner about what the roles in the house are going to look like. The laundry, meal prep, errands, and everything else it takes to make your household run smoothly isn’t going to stop, so having conversations about these things will save endless tears, I promise.

Meal prep is a game changer, and not just when you first get home. If you are going to breastfeed and heal from birth, nutrition is a critical piece of this puzzle. You are not going to feel like preparing meals, but you are going to need meals so anything you can do to prepare for this is going to help. I always recommend people to have an instant pot. Now, don’t roll your eyes. That’s exactly what I did when my mother told me that I needed one. I ignored her advice on this for months, that is until she showed up at my house with a roast and her instant pot. This seven-pound roast with vegetables was ready in 50 minutes! You read that right, 50 minutes! A healthy meal that is packed full of nutrients only took that long. Steel-cut oats take two minutes to make, add some fruit, and nuts and you are able to start the day with the nutrition that you need to heal and take care of your baby. It is a game changer, and if you don’t have one, consider getting one. I have some sessions available at a discounted price for a 90-minute meal and nutrition consultation. We will cover how to meal prep, recipe planning, and how to make the most nutrient-dense breastmilk you can. Schedule that here.

One of the best things that you can do is have conversations with friends and or family about how they can help. People can’t come over if they aren’t going to help. Period. Don’t entertain your people. In order to visit, they need to prepare food, fold some laundry, and most importantly, listen. My favorite kind of visit is when they stop by, leave goodies at the door, and text a sweet message. Don’t be afraid to let people know how to support you, or what you need. These are your people. They love and adore you. You should be able to count on them. Gone are the days when the birthing person entertains the people who come to visit. It’s not helpful to anyone, and you don’t need any more work. My experience has taught me that people really do want to help, and if you let them know what you need, they will deliver.

Your goals upon returning home with your sweet, sweet baby need to be focused on you and your humans in your home. Be intentional in your conversations. Discuss meals, sleep, a break ( maybe you need to run to target because you want to, not becuase you have to), what can they do so that you can spend time with your baby and heal. This is a really precious time, and I want you to look back and realize that you came through the other side with amazing memories, a full heart and a lot of support. Support that you thought through, made known, and that your people delivered. There will be hard days, but there will also be days when you amaze yourself at your strength, at your ability, and you will look to the future and know that you can do it. I know that sometimes it seems impossible to imagine, but take it from me. My oldest is headed to college, and he was a NICU baby. It was hard. Despite all of that, I still look at him with amazement and think back to the endless days and nights in that NICU where everything was uncertain and I had no idea what to expect, and my people showed up in more ways than one. As he towers over me about to start the next phase of his life, I see that tiny baby sometimes, and you know what I think? I did it. I made it through all of that, but I didn’t just make it through, I loved a lot of it. I find myself still needing my people to show up, because I now know that raising these tiny humans is the greatest acheivment of my lifetime, and I look forward to watching, cheering, and supporting their next steps because I know what is possible.

XOXO-Holly