Your Partner's Role During Your Birth

My role (your doula) is NOT to replace your partner. Their role is critical in pregnancy, birth, and post-partum time. Birth can be confusing to partners. First, they are watching the person they love most in this world go through something that they can't "fix," and that alone can be a challenging place for them to be. They want to fix it, and they don't know how. More importantly, this is not something they can improve or need fixing. This is something that you both go through together. A doula can help you both.

Taking a childbirth education class should be on the list. The more you understand physiological birth, the better you will be. We fear what we don't understand, which helps us prepare and navigate the journey a little easier. Let's talk energy. The energy of the room is something that you have control over. One of the most important things that we can remember is that there are many things about birth that we can't control, but let's wrap our arms around the things that we can control and that birth space is something that you can protect. If your partner understands birth, it will be easier for them to support you. Birthing people tend to like a more tranquil environment. For example, if you are in the middle of a contraction occurring during active labor, that is the time for everyone in the room to honor what you are working through. Keeping people from asking questions etc., during this time is helpful. Allowing space for quiet when you need it is critical.

Breath. I can't tell you how important this is. Your breath pattern has the power to regulate the nervous system. Breathing techniques are one of the many things I have taught my kids as soon as I knew they could use them. Labor can be a time of excitement and anxiety, so knowing how to support you with breathing is very helpful. Here is another thing that may help you. Reminding you how to breathe and the pattern that will best serve you is valuable. If we bring the focus back to the breath, we aren't as focused on fear or pain. Your partner can breathe with you, count for you, and remind you to return to the essential breath. Using the breath in the birth space creates space in your core canister, precisely what your baby needs to move down. I'll let you in on a little secret, the unsung hero of breathwork is in the exhale. You can learn more about breathing from one of my breath classes here.

Hydration. This is a tool that can be used in many ways. Hydrotherapy can be great for active labor. I will say this if you want a waterbirth, even better. This is only for some, but it is a great option. The tub promotes relaxation, and labor tends to be a little easier when the body is relaxed. The other critical element is that we NEED you to drink water throughout your labor. I like people to pee at least every hour, and people often forget when they are in labor. One of your partner's primary goals should be to ensure that you are drinking enough water and that they remind you to go to the restroom. If your bladder is full, your baby can't move down, so it's essential to empty the bladder throughout.

Encouragement. This is important. Never underestimate the ability to be encouraged. We need to hear this during this process. We need to hear at that moment when we sometimes doubt ourselves that you are there telling us that we are doing a fantastic job. That we CAN (because you absolutely can) continue. Never underestimate the power of vocal support from your partner. Here's the thing, you know them best, what motivates them, and what doesn't, so hearing your voice is very helpful. Reminding the birthing person that they are strong and amazing is beneficial.

Advocacy. Your partner knows your birth goals; if they don't, make sure they do. They can also act as a filter, meaning only some can access you. They have the power to help control the room to ensure that you only need to focus on birthing your baby. They know you best, and helping you communicate what is important to you is a critical piece of support. You both should have conversations about your wishes so that they are comfortable saying what your desires are and making sure that you feel heard and supported by everyone in that room.

A doula can help with all of this. I have seen all situations. I have seen the partner who is super excited to be fully involved with the birth, and then they get into the room and freeze. They also need support. I have seen a partner saying, I'm so glad we have a doula because I want to be in the room, but I am nervous, and then they are all hands on deck. As your doula, I support both of you. We are a team and work together to support you in whatever YOU need. You can do this! I would be honored to walk with you through this journey and support your family in the ways you wish and deserve.

XOXO-Holly

Birth Planning

There is a number of things that should be considered when you are creating your birth plan, and I need to be honest with you. This is the part that you will not be super happy about! NO ONE IS GOING TO READ YOUR THESIS ON YOUR BIRTH. There, I said it. This is what I have seen when it comes to those two and three-page birth plans. First things first, you have spent hours researching and planning exactly how you want your birth to be, and you put it into a three-page document that you will bring to your birth. Here is what will happen, and I speak from experience. You will hand this to your birth team, and they will glance over it, put it on their desk, which is right next to where they are charting, and will not look at it again, and will bombard you with questions throughout the entirety of your birth.

I create a visual birth plan for my clients. Here’s why I wanted it to have their preferences in the form of icons or pictures. I wanted a document that can be hung on the whiteboard so that when there is a shift change or a provider change, it is right there accessible, and everyone can see it, the best part is that no one has to ask you the same questions 100.000 times. That way you can focus on laboring, and not on answering the same questions over and over again.

As a doula, we are going to complete this during our first prenatal meeting. This is for a couple of reasons. First, it helps me to understand what you know, and what you don’t. What things you need more information on, it also gives me an idea if a childbirth education class would be helpful. In all honesty, I don’t care if you take mine, but please take one. Even if this is not your first pregnancy. We have seen so many changes over the years, and protocols change. Taking a childbirth education class is one way that you will know what to expect, and how to make the best choices for you and your family.

Here are a few things that you should consider: (not a complete list)

• Are you keeping your placenta (it’s yours, you can)

• Plans for eye ointment.

• Circumcision

• Epidural

• Medication or no medication

• No bath for baby

• Nitrous

• Birth Environment

• Music/no music

• Type of birth (hyno-birth)

• VBAC

These are just a sample of some of the topics to consider. Here is another thing that I want you to think about. Please include a postpartum plan. Spend as much time planning for the birth of your baby , planning for post-partum. Have conversations about what type of support will be helpful to your family. Would a post-partum doula be helpful? Do you know an IBCLC(International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) HOw many people will you allow to visit your baby in their first few weeks of life? Have you done any meal prep? Trust me when I say, tensions can run high when you first bring you baby home. There is feeding, diapers, and sometimes not a lot of sleep. Having theses conversations before you have the baby is critical.

I’m here if you need any support, and you are going to do great things!!

XOXO-Holly

Essential Oils in Labor and Delivery

I often am asked what I carry in my birth bag. If I'm being honest, not much. I carry bathtub handles for the birth tub so we can do Gilligan's Guide, some amino acids for myself, my camera if you have commissioned me to photograph your birth, your visual birth plan, some N95 masks, a traditional rebozo, and a few essential oils. Everything that you or I, as your doula, needs is available at the hospital or birth center and certainly at a home birth. Now, listen, I need to be honest with you. We will get a diffuser out for essential oils if that is important to you, but the oils I bring we also use on the body to release tight muscles and fascia and help you get into your birth space. I am not going to sell you on joining an MLM, that's not my jam, but I will share the oils that I use in the birth space and some helpful ones to have on hand at home and ones that will also work on the kiddos.

The two brands that I love are Plant Therapy and Young Living. Let's talk about the ones that I love for the kiddos.

Great on-the-go hand sanitizer.

Great for Growing Pains!

Use for Face Before Bed!

Neck Massage before bed! Great Calming Oil.

I’m going, to be honest, when I met my doula bestie, she smelled amazing! Honestly, I asked her name, and then immediately asked what scent she was wearing. It was a Young Living oil. As we got to be better friends, I began to learn a lot more about oils and ditched all the products that I had been using due to the number of toxins that were in most of the products that I had been using. I ordered from her often, until I finally signed up for Young Living as I wanted to be eligible to earn free products and get a discount. In full transparency, I have no desire to have a team, sign people up, or run an essential oil business. Period. I do however feel like I should share some of my coveted products, because they smell amazing, and are good for the body! Here’s the other thing, even my husband kinda rolled his eyes when my first order came, until his neck was killing him, and I pulled out the Deep Relief. Now, it is a full-on panic if there isn’t any in the house.

The One That Every House Should Have!

Helps with anything from sore muscles, nausea, and headache.

Lime, Cedarwood, and Lavender.

I can never shut my mind off at bedtime, and this helps me a ton!

I’m not going to try to convince you that you have to have these, but they were game changers for some of my clients, and for myself. I NEVER go to birth without them! EVER! I have a lot of oils from both companies and I have never been disappointed. I have replaced all the fragrances in our home with essential oils, and have never looked back. When I started to pay attention to how toxic beauty and body products are, I had to make a change. Here is what you need to know. The associative nature of the emotions that are attached by people to scent means that those smells that we tend to link to stressful/unpleasant healthcare situations, such as the eugenol (i.e., clove) smell of a visit to the dentist’s surgery, can all too easily end-up making us stressed (Robin et al., 1998, 1999). Over the years, researchers have also investigated the use of fragrance to help reduce stress during other anxiety-inducing medical procedures (e.g., Graham et al., 2003; Braden et al., 2009; Redd et al., 2009; Kritsidima et al., 2010; Ghiasi et al., 2019). There is also a growing body of research to suggest that ‘sweet-smelling’ ambient scents can help people deal a little better with pain (e.g., Prescott and Wilkie, 2007; though see also Marchand and Arsenault, 2002; Martin, 2006).

Based on the research above, we know that scent matters. That being said, the above brands and products have made a huge difference in this house, and I have also seen how scent can impact the birth space. Do yourself a favor, and treat yourself to some of these products. You’ll be happy you did!

If you would like to order from Young Living, here is my link.

Spence C. Using Ambient Scent to Enhance Well-Being in the Multisensory Built Environment. Front Psychol. 2020 Nov 19;11:598859. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2020.598859. PMID: 33329267; PMCID: PMC7710513.

XOXO-Holly

Induction

I’ve heard all the reasons why providers want to do an induction. Some are necessary and some are just for convenience, Let’s go through a couple of them. I have heard providers tell people that their baby is going to be big, that their provider is going to be on vacation, and in some cases, people elect for induction because they are tired of being pregnant. That being said, there are some very real reasons for induction. A few of those are preeclampsia, fetal growth restriction, RH incompatibility, 42 weeks past guess date, Oligohydramnios (not enough amniotic fluid). There are many reasons why an induction could be necessary, but what I want you to understand more than that is the process, and that it can take days. Yes, days. I have actually heard providers tell their patients that they will meet their baby much sooner with an induction, and I am here to tell you that in most cases, that is not true. It’s a process.

Let’s talk more about the process, and what to expect. First, you need to understand that induction and actual labor are two separate events. They are not one and the same. The first step is to ripen (soften) the cervix. This is done by using Cervidil or Cytotec. This process can be taken orally or vaginally. The usual dose is 50mcg orally or 25mcg vaginally, and can be repeated every 4 hours if contractions are absent or not painful. In other instances, a small tube (catheter) with an inflatable balloon on the end is inserted into the cervix. Filling the balloon with saline and resting it against the inside of the cervix helps ripen the cervix. Once your cervix is sufficiently relaxed or dilated, your provider will begin the second step. This usually involves stimulating the body to produce contractions if they have not started on their own. A medication called Pitocin is used to stimulate contractions. This is usually administered through an IV drip, and they begin with a small dose, and this can be gradually increased until contractions are strong and frequent. Unless your pregnancy has been diagnosed as high risk, you will be able to eat and move throughout this process, however, monitoring is consistent throughout this process. Once the Pitocin has begun to contract the uterus, sometimes your body will take over and they are able to shut the Pitocin off, and other times it increased at steady intervals usually every 30-60 min. This is when we are dilating the cervix.

There are risks associated with induction, however, as in most hospital interventions, the benefit can outweigh the risk depending on your individual situation. Some of the risks can be a failed induction. According to Mayo Clinic, about 75% of inductions are successful vaginal births, and the remaining 25% result in a c-section. We could see a low fetal heart rate from the medications used during the induction. There is a rare but serious complication of uterine rupture, and lastly the risk of more serious bleeding which usually occurs due to the medications.

I have been seeing inductions suggested much more than I have seen in the past, and I think people need to be aware of how it is done, and some of the risks that could be involved. More often than not I am seeing inductions suggested with not enough clarity and understanding. It is a process, and a process that can sometimes be beneficial to both the birthing person and the baby, just make sure to ask all of the questions and understand that induction is not easier or shorter. It is sometimes being sold as a quick fix, and honestly, there is nothing quick about it.

Here are a few questions to ask if your provider suggests an induction.

1. Why do I need an induction of labor?

2. When is my due date?

3. Do we have other alternatives, including waiting?

4. What percentage of patients in your practice are induced?

5. How will an induction change my birth plan?

6. When are you wanting to induce?

7. What will you be using to induce?

8. What is my Bishop Score?

9. What are my options if it isn’t working or progressing?

10. What are the risks?

I think that if an individual goes into any medical procedure with our questions answered, and being heard, we will feel a lot more confident and trusting. Remember an induction is not a guarantee to C-section. I have been at many inductions that ended in a vaginal delivery. I just want to make sure that you understand the process and know how to get answers.

XoXO-HOlly