Birth Plan Does and Don'ts.......

Your birth plan is important, and here is why. It sets your intention and helps your birth team understand what your wishes are. Here is the other reason why it is important, it helps you and your partner become clear on what it is that you both want, and that matters. I think the best part of putting your birth plan together is the education you receive in the process. In spending the time to put it together, you have to do some research, and you become empowered with that knowledge. I need you to know. This DOES NOT need to be a thesis. It won’t get read. It just won’t. I have seen birth plans exceed ten pages, and while I think it is fantastic, you have done that for you, not your team. Not a single person at the hospital is going to spend time reading that. They will smile, and make some sort of off handed remark, and put it in your pile of papers. That will honestly be it. They will continue to ask all the questions despite all of your carefully crafted wishes which you have put in that birth plan. If you truly want an effective birth plan, short and sweet. That’s the ticket. Follow my steps below for an effective, but comprehensive planning system.

• Take a childbirth Education Class. Even if it is not mine. This will not be a waste of time. Doesn’t it sound much easier to get your hands on evidence based information rather than reading random articles, research studies, and bad advice, which by the way takes hours and hours. My classes can be found here. Rhonda Fellows offers birth classes which are fantastic as well. The more you understand what is going to happen, the better you are able to plan for it.

• Your birth plan should be no more than one page. Just like a resume. Any more than that and it won’t get read. I know that this is a labor of love for you, but you want to have the most clear and simple direction. You can fit a lot on a page, trust me.

• When working with my clients I use a plan that is one page, and has icons. Seriously. My 17 year old son can navigate this birth plan, and it has all the things on it. You want it to be super simple. You can schedule a planning session with me here. You can also search on Etsy or Pixabay for the icons that you would need, build it in Canva and craft one that way. Hospital staff love this way of doing a birth plan. It takes a few minutes to look at and they then it is placed on the white board in your room. That way when there is a staff change, or new member of your birth team, everyone is clear and everyone can see it. You are not having to answer a million questions that you have already answered.

• Use evidence based information. Always. Here area a few of my favorites. Evidence Based Birth. The Cochrane Review. ACOG.

• The most successful birth plans that I have seen have one thing in common. Flexibility. When we get to attached to our plan, things can get complicated quickly. Birth is fluid. Birth changes. Birth is unpredictable. EVERYONE involved wants one outcome. Safe Birthing Person. Safe Baby. Period. When things don’t go 100% to the plan, that is ok. Just know that if some things on the plan change, other things are honored.

Your birth plan is important. The ability to birth the way we want is important. Feeling heard is important. All of this impacts how we feel about birth. We can impact our birth best when we educate ourselves about the process, plan with flexibility, and put safety first. Ask questions, research, learn about your body. You can do this, and it will be amazing!

Use Your Voice.......

I want to let you know how important your voice is during your pregnancy and postpartum time. I feel like this is a little known tool that holds immense power. I can’t tell you the number of times that I will be talking with a client, and I will hear, “I didn’t know that I could say that.” Here’s the thing. YOU ARE IN CHARGE. That’s right, let me say that again. You are in charge of your body, your birth, and your care. I think that in this culture we are taught from a very young age to not question any type of authority, especially as women. Here is thing, if you don’t advocate for yourself, no one else will.

Picture this. You have been very clear with your provider, your partner, and your birth team that you are requesting an unmedicated birth. You are not high risk. You have taken your childbirth education. You have created your birth plan. It has all been made very clear. Imagine you now arrive at your birthing place. You have again stated your wishes, yet you are being constantly asked about an epidural, or other medications that can be used for pain during birth. You are in labor, you are uncomfortable, and you are using all of things that you have learned to cope. That one question about pain medication will continue to throw you out of your rhythm. It is ok to say no. It is ok to ask them to not ask you about pain medication again. It is even ok to request that you get a new nurse. Yep, all of that is ok. Now, I’m not suggesting that this be done in a disrespectful way, however, asking that you receive a new nurse is perfectly acceptable. It is ok to ask for a new provider all together DURING your birth. This is your right. You do not need permission to feel safe, heard and respected during your birth. And yes, I have seen this done before.

Now picture this. You are 38 weeks, and headed in to one of your last pre natal appointments with your provider. They would like to do a cervical check “to see where you are in relation to dilation. You have an otherwise healthy pregnancy marked with nothing out of the ordinary. Baby sounds good, birthing person’s vitals look good. Do you need to have a cervical check? Well, that depends. Do YOU want one? Again, perfectly ok to say no thank you. Same for a membrane sweep. During Covid, I will say that I am seeing more and more providers suggest a membrane sweep if for no other reason than “to get things going.” In my experience, I have seen this work about 50% of the time, but make no mistake…it is a way to induce labor. Again, you may decline. If something is explained to you that you do not understand, you should and can question it. Ask for clarity and understanding. Don’t feel bad. Think about it this way, if you are at work and someone asks you a question in regards to something they don’t understand. You answer them, and try to have a conversation about it. This should happen with your care team as well.

This also goes for things in regards to your baby after birth. If all is well with baby, testing can wait. You can enjoy and get to know your baby, begin to breast feed if that is your choice, decline eye ointment. All of these things are within your control. You just need to know that it IS in your power to use your voice to let your care team know what your preferences are. You are not at their mercy. Do not be afraid. ASK!

I say all of this not so that you enter your birth in a combative environment, but so that you feel empowered to get answers that you need in order to make the best choices for you and your family. I often hear my clients say that they don’t want to bother their provider with what they are afraid is a silly question. Let me say this loud and clear. THERE ARE NO SILLY QUESTIONS WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR BIRTH AND YOUR BABY. Read that again. It is their job to answer your questions, and to make sure that you feel heard. That is their job. This is what they signed up for. This is their job description. To take the call in the middle of the night. To answer your questions when they are asked. To make sure that you feel heard. If for one second that is not happening, it may be time to switch providers. This can be done up until the very end of your journey. Don’t feel trapped. You have choices.

At the end of the day, we all want a healthy birthing person and baby. Plain and simple. You owe it to yourself, and to your baby. Don’t allow fear, and misinformation be your guiding principles. Listen to your gut. I have learned that 99.9% of the time it is right. YOU know your body and your baby. That is powerful. That makes you the perfect advocate. May you have a healthy and safe pregnancy, which is guided with what you need to make the best choices for your family. You’ve got this. I believe in you!